Scheiße, Be Mine.

I'm nothing to you, just admit it.

Tue, 29 May 2012 20:31:36 -0700

I’m here trying while you’re barely trying at all. I’m checking my phone every now and then, waiting for your text and when I get it, I text you back right away. If you’re busy, let me know. If you don’t want to talk to me, let me know. Be completely blunt with me instead of having so many thoughts go through my head because right now, I feel like I’m nothing to you.

It’s been a year since this and I feel like I’ve...

Tue, 29 May 2012 19:07:36 -0700

It’s been a year since this and I feel like I’ve gotten younger. What the fuck?

anfunny: lolsofunny: it’s not a lamp after all… I can’t...

Tue, 29 May 2012 01:10:11 -0700

anfunny:

lolsofunny:

it’s not a lamp after all…

I can’t even laugh after all these years thinking it was a fricken lamp.

guys guys guys….my mind has been blown.

LOL

So all of that’s over. The fun phase. We rarely talk nowadays. And when we do, it seems so...

Tue, 29 May 2012 00:07:35 -0700

So all of that’s over. The fun phase. We rarely talk nowadays. And when we do, it seems so different. As if we’re just two people who don’t have much an association with each other. I really don’t know what to make of this. I want to believe that we’re settling down and getting serious about things, but it all seems to be happening so early. Did we go into this too fast? Have you lost interest already? The problem with me is that I always seem to bore the people who pique interest in me. And they move on from me pretty quickly. Rarely do they come back and tell me they regret it. But yeah, it happens. But I’m smart enough to know that I’m not about to replay a relationship that the other person gave up on. Drop me once and I’m gone. But when you have me, I really want to make something out of us and I’m willing to do whatever it takes. I just wish I wasn’t feeling this way.

Photo

Tue, 29 May 2012 00:03:04 -0700

I got attached...

Mon, 28 May 2012 23:52:41 -0700

brandello:

How could I not have gotten attached? We talked everyday, from the very moment I woke up till the very moment I fell asleep you were always right there. I had gotten so used to the fact that you were always there, I started to become dependent on you for things. I expected you to always be there, so I had gotten used to the fact that you were here. Once you left, I felt lost. I had no one telling me good morning, I had no one calling me before I fell asleep. I didn’t have anyone because I put everything I had on us. I had to get used to the fact that you aren’t here anymore, I had to get used to the fact that you were talking to someone else, and I had to get used to the fact that you forgot about me. You’re fine though, you’ve moved onto the next person. I’m still here trying to get over the fact that you aren’t here anymore. Silly me for getting so attached to you.

I'm used to people giving up on me.

Mon, 28 May 2012 09:16:59 -0700

But each time it happens, it hurts just as bad.

I miss the "talking stage"

Sun, 27 May 2012 23:46:32 -0700

the butterflies,
the flirting
losing sleep
the good morning/night texts

A few days ago would have been our one year. And I then I begin to reflect on all the times we had,...

Sun, 27 May 2012 22:30:00 -0700

A few days ago would have been our one year. And I then I begin to reflect on all the times we had, even though they were limited. You always made me smile. Waking up to your messages each day. You alone showed me the potential of a real relationship and gave me hope. Even with all our restrictions, our love was never restricted. You taught me so many things and I have so many things to thank you for. Our break up hurt, yes, but if it hadn’t, then that would mean you meant nothing to me. Also, if we hadn’t, we would not have stumbled upon these new opportunities that could prove to be better than what we had. I’m glad that you found somebody new that could treat you right and provide you with all of the things that weren’t possible for me. And I’m also glad that I have found somebody new that could love me and make me feel special, and provide me with the things that wasn’t possible for you to provide. You gave me hope that people out there really do care about me and will try to make anything happen. We weren’t meant to be, but I’m glad we tried because it was a blast and I learned so much. You will always be a great friend to me and we will never be awkward exes.

Lately, I’ve spent a lot of my time reading our old text...

Sun, 27 May 2012 21:50:00 -0700

Lately, I’ve spent a lot of my time reading our old text messages. You know, the “flirting, lovey-dovey, infatuation” stage? I really miss it. How you would tell me that you loved me randomly in the day. Or missed me. How “babe” was in every message you sent me. And how it made me feel a swarm of butterflies in my stomach. You made me feel like the most special guy in the world. And now it’s not the same anymore. I know it isn’t infatuation because we both established that we’re intending a lasting, serious relationship. I can’t tell if this is drift or if this is the “settling down” stage. Either way, I miss what we once had but I know that I still love you so much and you still make me so happy.

I keep having this recurring dream in which I’m living in the past. Before things became the...

Sun, 27 May 2012 17:47:48 -0700

I keep having this recurring dream in which I’m living in the past. Before things became the way they are today. Before my dad left. Those days which are now just a blurry memory. In this dream, all of my dad’s possessions just vanish into thin air and current objects take their place. I turn around and every thing is gone. They’re all packed into luggages and bags. Some into disposal bins. And then comes the big leave. The door that shuts all that we’ve ever had together away. To know that I will never be able to have that again. I find myself breaking down against the door. Pounding at it. Begging for him to come home. Giving up everything just to have our family back. Then I wake up. It’s so real that I’m actually in tears when I’m awake. It’s horrible. And I know it will never leave me. Especially now that it’s been nearly a year since that very day. Especially now that my graduation is in three weeks. No holiday this year has been the same. Not even my birthday felt right. Not without him. I will never fully recover from this loss but I’m fighting every day to smile for my dad. I promised I’d be strong. I promised I’d move on and live my life. You only live once and all good things come to an end.

Just because she’s yours at the moment, doesn’t mean she will...

Sat, 26 May 2012 12:14:16 -0700

Just because she’s yours at the moment, doesn’t mean she will be in the future. Treat her right or someone else will.

When you're down

Sat, 26 May 2012 11:44:23 -0700

It’s more plausible to believe:

“You checked your phone but decided not to reply. You must be busy with somebody else right now. You probably don’t care very much about me right now. And I’ll just sit here assuming the worst of things while I wait.”

Than:

“You didn’t get my text or didn’t feel it. Your phone must have died. You must be busy with something right now. You care about me but you’re unaware that I sent you a message. Or maybe you fell back asleep. Or perhaps you’re not feeling very well and I should leave you alone. I’ll just sit here and wait patiently for you to reply any time you feel like.”

on your sidebar is that your girlfriend?

Sat, 26 May 2012 11:36:28 -0700

no it is not.

Things feel different with us. I can tell you that my feelings for you are still strong and that I...

Sat, 26 May 2012 11:26:54 -0700

Things feel different with us. I can tell you that my feelings for you are still strong and that I haven’t lost any yet. But I feel like you don’t feel the same. Our conversations aren’t the same anymore. I try to bring it back to what it used to be but it doesn’t seem to work. Are you losing feelings for me? I’d like to know so I don’t fall so far. So I can get myself out of this if you don’t want this anymore. But me? I still want this. There wasn’t a minute where I wanted to get out of it. I’m willing to put up with everything we go through. I just can’t hep but feel like we’re drifting. I love you so much, I’m sorry that I feel this way. I’m not saying you can’t leave. Because you can if it makes you happy. But of course I don’t want you to leave. If you’re still happy with us, of course. Every time we get into a fight, you always bring up how this is the only thing we ever are. The “bad”. And I just recently let that sink into me. Because I see the good in us too. But if you no longer see that, then I ask that you tell me so we can talk things out. Would it mean that this would end? If you truly believe we should, then yes. I just want you to be happy.

WOW @ tumblrdatinggame(.)com WTF is this.. my little brother's roommate is on this and I think I saw you too lol

Sat, 26 May 2012 10:59:56 -0700

yeah im on there.

"Are you okay"

Sat, 26 May 2012 10:37:17 -0700

christianparker:

You know what?…

No I’m not okay. I’ve never been okay and each day is just like the other. A pain within… pain that eats away at me all the time. A pain that kills me all the time. A void. This horrible feeling that I cannot fucking take anymore. I’m sick of it. I just want to be happy again. I want just to be happy thats it. So no…I’m not “okay”

Why exactly did you choose UCI over UCSB??

Thu, 24 May 2012 00:01:35 -0700

they have a higher ranked psychology department and I actually don’t trust myself at an extreme party school like UCSB. even though UCI might bore the hell out of me because of the lack of activities (I don’t mean just parties). And UCI has a fairly nice environment and there’s a lot of Asians.

So many things are bothering me. Grad night is tomorrow and I’m feeling bittersweet about it....

Wed, 23 May 2012 23:49:35 -0700

So many things are bothering me. Grad night is tomorrow and I’m feeling bittersweet about it. Eight hours on a bus to Six Flags Magic Mountain. And it won’t even be with the person I want to be with. Graduation is in 3 weeks or so. I can’t walk. I refuse to. I will not be able to stand the sight of my dad sitting 10 miles away from my mom. Separate families. I just can’t do it. And recently, I feel like things are different between us. I’m reading back at our old texts. Our conversations seemed so much happier. We seemed a lot happier. But now I feel like all we do most of the time I’m with you is fight. I don’t like it. I want to go back to that period where we were nothing but happy. But I guess it’s that honeymoon phase that everybody grows out of. I still love you. I just miss those times we had when you’d text me at the most random times just to tell me you missed me, or that you loved me. Our good morning texts. Just, everything seemed so perfect. Now I feel like you get irritated by the smallest things I say. I can’t joke around you as much anymore. I’m not saying that I don’t like what we have now. Because you’re more than enough. And I’m blessed to have you. I just really miss how things used to be, but I understand that flames die down. I just can’t help but feel like I’m becoming more and more insignificant with each passing day. That’s my problem. Perhaps everything seems fine to you. And I hope that it does. Because I’m hoping to fix this issue on my part.

YOU WHORE WHY WERE U TOUCHING MY ASS

Wed, 23 May 2012 23:32:57 -0700

i thought it was your back